Changing Faces

1 Sep

I talked yesterday about how my body and face changed as I shrunk, it was one of the strangest and at times most difficult points in the process.

One of the things that was most difficult was coming to terms with what was now looking at me in the mirror.  It was great, I was smaller, there was something familiar, I looked a bit like I did when I was younger (with more wrinkles) but it was strange, very strange.

I’d spent a long time with the old me, she had protected me from having to deal with a lot of things, and I had perfected the art of not actually looking at me, I could sit for a whole 3 hour hairdresser session without really looking at the girl in the mirror. There are very few photos of me bigger, I’d become incredibly good at avoiding the camera too.

So actually my challenge was to start looking and getting to know the new me. I had to accept my new body and face, learn to live with them and importantly love them. I was meeting all the physical challenges I was setting myself but I needed to focus on the ‘head stuff’.

I’d also been shopping with my best friend and bought some new clothes – things I would never have dreamed I would fit into before, it was all very different and a learning process. I was still unsure about what I was looking at in the mirror, was I really looking or still ‘looking past’ me?

I was really struggling with this, it was highlighting a lot of the deep-rooted self-esteem issues I had and I needed to be able to find a solution. I have a lovely friend who is a photographer, she offered to take some pictures when I’d lost about 4.5 stones. She set up a proper shoot, we went out on location, had a lovely day and the results were stunning although it was nerve-wracking, for a camera avoider to now be the centre of attention for a couple of hours was quite a step. We even decided to take several changes of clothes, so yes I was getting my kit off in country lanes!

For me the process was all about finding me again, being able to accept what had happened and that I had really moved on. It was also a celebration of what I had achieved over the previous year.

Since then I’ve continued to change and a second photo shoot is planned which will be interesting!  There are now a lot of photos of me, it’s reignited a real love of photography too which was an added plus point!

So for you, celebrate your achievements and get to know the new you, buy new clothes, do new things and start shouting from the rooftops how much it means to you, it’s important as a motivator to keep going, the better things are and feel, the more reasons there are not to go back!  Photographs are important, it will help with the recognition thing, you can give yourself a very firm pat on the back, and for me once I didn’t flinch or find an excuse not to be in a photo, I knew I was conquering some of the demons and that would let me move forwards and really enjoy my new life.  I now ask people to take photographs of me.

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