Just too much!

6 Oct

I ventured into a city centre yesterday and thought I’d have a little look around some clothes shops to see what was new for Autumn/Winter.  I lasted a couple of minutes, it just totally overwhelming, it wasn’t a pleasant experience at all.

When I was bigger it was so much easier, there were 2 or 3 shops that stocked my size, it was nicely self-contained, very samey and easy to navigate, my objective was to find things that fitted, as the choice was limited there was less of the ‘does it look great’, basic black with a clever choice of accessories was a better solution.  If you’re bigger I’m sure you’ll recognise that feeling?

Of course due to the lack of choice out there, ‘special’ events can be a trial, for my best friend’s wedding I couldn’t find anything suitable and in the end my mum made me an outfit, I remember being very grateful to her for doing that but I never really liked it and longed for something that made me look and feel fabulous.  I did over the years find the odd outfit that did that and there was always a massive celebration!  I did though enjoy shopping and was always the one friend’s called on to help them choose outfits and I was very good at finding exactly the right thing for them, I was a bit of a Gok!   I did though tend to shop for my own stuff on my own, and I did find a lot of things, if you think that when the final ‘big thing’ was sent to the charity shop I’d got rid of over 7 black bags, finding clothes to fit was actually not a problem.

I should be celebrating now, my average size 14 body can fit into clothes from all the major high street retailers, but I actually can’t cope with shopping, I still struggle with what I look good in and if something is the right decision, I can’t do it alone anymore and there isn’t the joy I used to have. I found myself going into shops, looking at a couple of rails and then feeling quite panicked and walking out again.

The problem appears to be the ‘too much’  scenario, I’m used to my own small high street, I’ve had years of being happy with that and it is too much now to be able to change!

The last lovely thing I bought was in a small town in Italy in June, there were probably two clothes shops, this particular top was on a mannequin in the window, it was a hot day and I really didn’t fancy trying it on so I just asked the lovely owner if she thought it would fit me and took a punt on just buying it.  It fitted like a dream.  I can do this type of shopping just not the big place thing.

So whilst losing all the weight has resulted in a lot of positive changes, it hasn’t enhanced my shopping experience in respect to the High Street, but I do now know my limitations and will work with them, sticking to smaller shops and trying on stuff at home.  Me rooting through the rails in New Look or Primark isn’t going to be happening soon!

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