Having that difficult conversation?

21 Dec

When I was bigger I remember having conversations with some friends about my weight, however it was normally about the fact I was ok and it didn’t bother me?

None of them or my family ever discussed that they were concerned about the impact on my health?  Maybe they should have?  It is an incredibly difficult conversation to have though, it’s a verypersonal thing and intervention could be taken in very many different ways and it could be damaging.

There’s an article on the BBC website dealing with this question, however it isn’t perhaps as simple as you’d like to think.  My advice would be to tread carefully, perhaps ‘you’re getting fat darling’ is a step too far, maybe focusing on the possible health implications would be a better approach.   Don’t be cruel, over-bearing and unsympathetic, especially if you don’t have a problem with your own weight it may just make the problem worse and further damage a delicate self-esteem.  

Also bear in mind that unless the person is ready to do something about it, your concerns may fall on deaf ears and you shouldn’t take that personally.  Losing weight and getting fit in the first place is a very personal, individual journey and needs a lot of self-responsibility and that can take time to come and be established.

Your role may come in being part of their support network, they will need you to encourage them (it’s very important though that you listen to how they want you to do this), it may take a while to make any progress, so be prepared for this, it’s one thing to tell them they need to lose weight, it’s another to be there for them during the tricky times.  However the good times and the rewards should surpass any of those!

And finally if you also need to lose a bit, be honest about that as well, there’s little point in encouraging your friend or loved one if you do nothing yourself?

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