Marked

11 Mar

Genetically I’m a bit unlucky, in my family we all have stretch marks – even the boys, especially those carrying too much weight.

For some more information about why we get them, this article was useful.

I remember when mine first appeared at 14 following a bit of a growth spurt and puberty, on the tops of my thighs and unusually on the backs of my  calves, these were difficult to hide so I was very self-conscious.

The next moment I remember was seeing them on my upper arms in my mid-20s as the weight gain took hold together with the  ME. My self-esteem took a really knock at this stage as my body was quickly overrun with them, I tried everything, oils, lotions, nothing worked, it’s all down to genetics. I’m sure we all know people who’ve had babies and some will have ended up with a lot of marks and some none. in most cases it has nothing to do with how much weight they gained, it’s all about biology!

Stretch marks on the abdomen.

Image via Wikipedia

The years have faded them from purple/red to white, but the very deep ones have left distinct indentations, and as I’ve lost more weight, these have become more apparent.  I have some at the tops of my legs that are very deep.

And this week I saw that the ones at the top of one arm are darker again.  Now this is a time I know would come eventually, it is fantastic that I am shrinking again however there for me there is a price to pay, the stretch marks won’t disappear and my genetic make up does mean that there is a risk I may look ‘worse’  as I get fitter.  My loose skin may also not contract back in quite the way I’d like. Ironically the fat has been padding out the deeper marks so I guess it’s a good thing I can see them now, the fat is going.

However I am not beating myself up about this, it’s fine! I’m not looking for a miracle, biology/genetics is such that you must have a degree of acceptance, we’re all beautifully different and as long as I am fit and healthy that’s just fine,

The marks are a reminder of where I’ve been, and where I’m not going back to.

I do know that going too thin will pose some issues and I won’t ever put myself in a position where I am more self-conscious about my body than I was when I was big, that would be a sorry state of affairs and not something on my list of ‘things to do’.

I love what I see in the mirror – that is so important.  I read a Tweet from a guy who has also lost a significant amount of weight and he said that this week he looked in the mirror for the first time in over 20 years and loved what he saw – that’s an amazing feeling!

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