Searching

9 Apr

For all blog writers, our statistics are always interesting. We like to see how people find us and the search terms that are used.

For those who know and follow me, you’ll know how important this blog is, in that it took a lot of courage to finally put my story into the public arena, I was a very insular person and hadn’t shared in the past. It has helped enormously to be able to share as I know it does for other people who write similar blogs.

To find today that someone had used the search term ‘thinpeoplehatertrudykellyloseweight‘ was shocking and extremely hurtful. This isn’t an easy post to write, I could have just ignored what I read today (that was my original plan) however hate is such a strong, very negative word, it disables rational thought and it makes me very sad that someone may think that. As they used my full name which is not in this blog I am assuming it is someone I know and that makes it that bit sadder and more hurtful. However I believe it’s more about their issues than mine and has provoked me to think about what we say about both ‘thin’ and ‘big’ people and how we deal with that, whatever size we are.

There is nothing in the blog that implies that I hate thin people, I can’t see how anyone could find that? To that person I remind you that we are all human beings, we hurt, if you feel that my story of losing weight is in some way a ‘dig’ at thin people then I am amazed? As long as you are fit, healthy and at peace with your body then how can you ‘hate’ how anyone else looks?

My objective has been to get healthier, get fit and to change my body shape – all of which I’ve achieved and am still enjoying. I was never focused on becoming as thin as I was in my early 20s, I didn’t feel good at all being that small and I am ironically far fitter at the size I am today than I was then! We’re all very different and prefer different body shapes, it’s what makes us all so interesting. I love my curves (the smaller, more toned ones), I prefer my body that way, I’m just not personally aiming to be ‘thin’, I am still working very hard to get more toned and fitter – does that make me a ‘thinpeoplehater’ just because ‘thin’ isn’t on my key objectives list and I make no secret of that?

One of the key things I’ve learnt myself and from others is that if you’re fit, healthy and happy with your body then you won’t care what anyone else thinks or says about you? People will always make comments about thin people – some will do it out of jealousy because they would like to be you or as I’ve found because they just can’t come to terms with the changes that you’ve made, I’ve lost some friends because of that. Some will do it in jest and some in encouragement which is lovely.

However in some instances it will be done out of concern because they care that perhaps things have gone too far, in those circumstances, if there is no cause for concern then all should be fine. This could be done in the same way as someone once said to me that they were concerned about how big I was? It affected me because I knew it was true, at the time I took it as an enormous insult and very much ‘how dare you’? The same thing happened when I was very thin in my teens, looking back, I was way too thin and the comments were most certainly made out of concern not jealousy. They are difficult conversations but sometimes necessary.

However I reiterate that if you are fit, healthy and happy then what others say is their issue not yours. You can’t stop people saying anything, you just have to change how you deal with it.

In the main I’ve received very positive feedback on my story, it’s that I’ll focus on, I’m very happy with what I’ve achieved and will achieve in the future. We all move on.

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7 Responses to “Searching”

  1. lorna April 10, 2012 at 12:10 pm #

    That’s horrible that has happened to you and I had similar issues as I became smaller and smaller.
    I find it’s best to think that it’s all relative to what you see in the mirror and are happy to accept. If we met I would think you are overweight and you would think I was too thin.

  2. lorna April 10, 2012 at 12:15 pm #

    P.S I found your blog originally due to it being posted on one of the many fitness forums I belong to. I believe you made a comment about skinny which may have brought this on. You are entitled to your opinion and I guess when you put yourself ‘out there’ these things can happen.

    • trudykelly April 10, 2012 at 12:27 pm #

      Thanks Lorna – I have friends of all shapes and sizes, always have done, especially now most of my friends are actually at the smaller end of the scale because of the circles I mix in. I have also had friends who have eating disorders and have had to have the ‘conversation’ about how they are treating their bodies. I’ve been at both ends of the weight spectrum, never in the middle before, the original weight went on very quickly due to illness. I don’t make judgements on how people look and if people are fit, healthy and happy with how they look then I’m absolutely fine with that. What I have found both personally and from talking to others is that when you become very sensitive or protective about it (big or small), it is normally because you’re not happy with how you look or are struggling to find a degree of body confidence. That’s something I have spent a lot of time dealing with, for me getting smaller was a struggle, I had to get to know that person in the mirror all over again. It’s not about the size you are, it’s about the person you are and how you deal with life.

  3. lorna April 10, 2012 at 12:25 pm #

    Just to reassure you it may not be someone you know, your full name is on your blog, under the twitter section.

    • trudykelly April 10, 2012 at 12:29 pm #

      Ah – thanks Lorna, I hadn’t thought about that.

  4. lorna April 10, 2012 at 12:50 pm #

    Thanks ok. I would never blog, not about the fitness world, too many passionate girls in these groups. I hope you don’t get too much more hassle. Someone else will upset them and you’ll be forgotten. On a postive note it’s good you had someone championing your blog!

  5. lorna April 10, 2012 at 1:05 pm #

    How stupid of me, your name also appears when you reply to any comments??
    Thanks ok, was supposed to be That’s ok by the way. Another reason I wouldn’t do a blog- too many typos!

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